And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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