i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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