I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
