Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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