I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize