I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
