Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She announced her abortion via fbk
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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