Sry I called you an 8
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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