i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
