He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
