What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
