By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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