I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
