i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
