i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
