we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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