I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
