Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
