Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
