smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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