I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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