the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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