My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize