so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize