That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
this is an emotional support booty call
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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