there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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