thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
