Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize