Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
