The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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