Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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