I puked a lego.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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