Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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