Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize