you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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