Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Even my vagina gasped.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
