Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Can I color on your dick again?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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