She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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