At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
