yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
