Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.

Fav 16 1648 6152
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(440): View more from Ohio

the ladder is at the bottom of the pool

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(309): View more from Illinois

This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker

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(828): View more from North Carolina

remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.

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(+61): View more from Australia

In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm

(1+61): View more from

At least it wasn't your drinking arm

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(775): View more from Nevada

And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out

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