i just google imaged poop.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize