Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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