Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize