Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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