and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
and she was petting her beer can
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
