I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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