Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
