just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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