Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
