Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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