Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
