we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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