Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
