it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
