yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
