not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
