Jerry, you need to find god
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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