Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
