she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
