you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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