her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
