I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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