Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
