Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Mom said you looked used
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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