i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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