OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
