Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
