we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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